Our amazing bodies

Ah! It feels good to be out of those tight jeans and into my jammies! Two weeks ago, I was pretty excited that I could fit back into those jeans. They were the last hold out of the pre pregnancy clothes that didn’t fit. Now they fit! Yay! But still a little tight…but on! Today I was watching Oprah, yes I know.. Oprah. Jacob doesn’t like that I watch it, but I don’t think it’s so bad. When she has weird guests or shows that conflict with my beliefs I don’t watch. Anyways, Kirstie Alley was on and she gained back all the weight that publicly lost. Weight is a difficult thing. I feel like most people are never happy with what they weigh. The media definitely doesn’t help. It’s either they are anorexic or too chubby. This of course is still when these celebrities are still underweight and would still look pretty darn skinny if they were walking around any normal town.

I have tried to make fitness a way of life for me. It’s not like I’m a gym rat by any stretch of the imagination. But I do feel better after I have a good work out. I usually try to get 30-45 min. in most days. Thankfully, Bella just likes to watch meJ I try to think about all the things that my body can do to make me feel better when I’m down about my body. Especially going through pregnancy, I feel like my body is amazing. God made our bodies amazing! I really didn’t have to do too much and inside was this perfect little being. Even 4 months later, it’s still amazing to me.

Ok, this just in-My friend, Kimberly, was having surgery. She just said that the drs. went in to remove cysts and they were completely gone! This normally wouldn't just happen. She and many other people were praying about this situtation. God took them away. What a miracle! He is using her body to show His glory!

Sunday's Sermon

At church the sermon was on ways we can worship. I really enjoyed this. Many of the issues spoke to me about things that are sometimes stumbling blocks for me. Some of the points that our pastor brought up, I never thought of as worship. Here's some of my thoughts about them. Some of them were:
-Building family like relationships within the church
I have seen this work with our small groups. I am so blessed to feel like I belong here. It can be harder to feel connected in a large church. Through being involved in Bible study with this great group of couples I feel connected. I don't have my family close by, so it's nice to know that I can call on someone in the group to help.
-Promote the sanctity of marriage
Our pastor brought up this point, which I really liked so I'll share it. He was pointing out that in the recent Miss USA pageant, Miss CA was scrutinized for having the belief that marriage should be between a man and woman. Perez Hilton was the one who asked the question and was also a judge. He gave her a 0 and consequently she lost the title of Miss USA that she would have won. She was the "wierd one" for having a tradition, Biblical view on marriage! I'm glad that she stuck up for herself and her beliefs ( especially since she was representing CA, where it was legal for gay marriages. I think that was over turned now, though...)
Also with the sanctity of marriage comes keeping the marriage bed pure. This means that you shouldn't be living or sleeping with your current boyfriend or fiancee or whatever. I have to admit that I had some past problems with this one. I fell into the worldly trap, that this was okay. But it's not! Until you have a ring on your finger and you can call that guy your "husband", that's when it is okay to do those things. It's one of my regrets looking back on things now. But it's also one of the ways that I know that I have become a new creation. Now, I can see that I have changed in my thinking.
-Stay free from materialism
This is another area that I stumble with. I have a weakness when it comes to materials and how things look to other people. Being a mother, some of that is thankfully going away. It's hard to care what others think of you when your baby is screaming and you have puke on your shoulder! I just care about what Isabella is thinking at that moment. I want to calm her down. Also, not going shopping is a great way to "stay free from materialism"! When you are trapped at home, this works. I have always been a bargain hunter, so it's not about having the nicest, newest things for me. I do like to have new things, but only if I got it for a great bargain!
American retailers play into our need for having the newest thing that will finally make life easier and better. The problem with this is it will never be achieved by having more stuff! You can see this fact with so many different people. The rich and famous have a lot of money and things and still feel so unhappy and lonely that they are driven to the party and drinking/drugs lifestyle. We feel a hole within ourselves and think that we can fill it with stuff; when it needs to be filled with Jesus!
-Learn from grace filled leaders
I think this one speaks for itself. I don't have anything to add to this one.
-Meet Jesus "outside"
This means we need to see Jesus in the inner city areas, in the homeless shelters and in the third world countries. When Jesus walked this earth, he met with people on the outside of society. The outcasts. I get an uneasy feeling when I am around the city. I am used to the bubble that is my life-the suburban lifestyle, where I feel safe. I am working on this. Actually, Jesus is working on this for me! I don't know if I could live downtown or something but I do want to at least change my way of thinking about so many people. I need to open up my heart more...
-Praise God continually
I'm not a great singer, musican or artist but whatever talents you have you can praise God though it. Even if it's cleaning and cooking! I always think singing is still a great way to praise God even if I don't sound good. I'm not singing for me or you, I'm singing for God. It all sounds good to Him:) plus it usually puts you in a good mood!
-Give of yourself
Lastly, giving of your most valuable resource, your time. We can volunteer in so many ways. We can give money to missions and our churches. Giving is a way of worship. It shows that you trust God for your security, whether it's finanical or safe surroundings. What we spend our money on shows what our priorities are.
Ok, that's it! I hope that some of these points or some little tidbit helped you see how you can worship more or think about it in a new way. Praise God! He is good:)

Having a "God moment"

I am awestruck looking into Isabella's eyes right now. She is just peacefully lying next to me. (not even sleeping, but very quiet!) I am thinking how blessed I am. Thank you Jesus for this wonderful life, family and special moments that I can spend quietly in wonder of you. I never knew how great being a mom would be. I love it! Thankfully, my own mother has given me a lot of good advice and a good head of my own. She is not like some other moms that I have heard of, always criticizing their daughter's ways of mothering. I know that everything I do or have happen won't be perfect. But I am thankful for even that, because it makes us grow and thank God for the great days that we have! I have always been bad at memorizing scripture. Right now, I wish I knew where to look for what I know I want to say...the verse is something like "Trust in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desires." I think it's in Psalms, somewhere... I have always wanted to be a mom, and He has given me this gift. While I was pregnant, I was hoping that I would have a little girl. Most of my friends were having boys, so I was preparing myself for a boy. I was delighted when the dr. said, "It's a girl!" (Obviously, if we ended up having a boy, I would have been okay, too. That's why we kept it for a surprise.. )

Marriage

Jacob and I started to read a new book called "This Momentary Marriage". It is written by John Piper. Ironically, last week I was talking with my small group from church. We were discussing how when you die and go to Heaven, your earthly husband won't be your husband in Heaven. There will be no ties like that. I have never heard that before! Then a few days later, we started to read this book together. (now I understand the title!) This book discusses how marriage should be a strong covenant as Jesus is to His bride, the church. In today's world, many people think that marriage is the next step after dating for a while, or that you can leave when things get tough. The apostle Paul knows that this covenant is to be lifelong and there will be difficult patches. That is why he issues warnings and says that everyone is not called to be married. This covenant is stronger than love.You must stay in your marriage even when you might not love your spouse. Marriage is designed by God. He made Eve for Adam. He "gave her away" as a father does a t a traditional marriage ceremony. When two are joined, they become one flesh.
It is a scary statistic to hear that half the marriages will end in divorce. I wish that more couples realized the monumental covenant that marriage truly is. Yes, it a joy, but it can be tough too. Thankfully I have parents that have been a wonderful role model to me. They have been married now for 30 years. Jacob and I fully understand the commitment to this covenant. We have been blessed with so many happy times so far. But I am not naive enough to think that we will never fight. I hope to be a role model to Isabella, future children and those all around us.

Random thoughts

Well, Jacob had to give me a little tutorial on blogging. Still feeling my way around this "new world". I'm old school- I usually like writing with an old pen and paper. I'm hoping that I can share about our life as an encouragement to others and well as just journaling my thoughts as an outlet while I'm at home in the semi-quiet days. I found a few other christian mom blogs. I feel that reading something light like a blog posting is manageable! I always have dreams of reading all these different books and it never happens. Mostly because I think I like to pretend that I read more than I really do! Also because my mind wonders, and did I mention a cute little one who keeps me unfocused as well?! I still do want to grow in the spirit, so finding other christian moms is encouraging. At times you can feel very alone. Especially on bad days! This past weekend, she had a couple of those days.. She was a screamer and crying a lot:( It makes my heart just break for her when I know that she is in pain. It's amazing how much pain gas can cause!!
When I'm at home I tend to daydream. Lately, I have been looking and dreaming about houses. I have to tell myself that there is no "magic bullet". You have to be happy where you are and with what you have. I know that I have many blessings. But I get caught up the the material world. That is one of my flaws and I try to rein it in when I notice that I am getting too materialistic. Sometimes Jacob and I are so similar, other times (most of the time) we are quite different. I think that God knew that and that's why we are together. He can be rational and tell me to wait. He will tell me when I'm being crazy. I know that God will lead us to the right house at the right time. Honestly, the apt. that we live in right now isn't that bad. I am feeling a little crowded and want a change of scenery! But who doesn't? I have to confess that there is one townhouse that I can't get out of mind, so I think I'll look at that one. It looks too good to be true. That will be it, though! Then I should probably just stay away from craigslist for a while. So, we'll see...Just be patient, right?!

Family times

Well, we're back home. Back to the old routine. Bella did so well on the plane! She cried for maybe a total of 5 min. the whole time (round trip!) I had still decided that even though she is a great traveler, I wouldn't try that without Jacob! There are a lot of things to bring when you have a little one. We had a great time visiting my family at my sister's apt. We always have so much fun when we're all together. Jacob thinks we get along freakishly well. Like a cheesy family sitcom or something. My mom was especially excited to see Bella. She couldn't believe how big she was. It was fun to show her off. She has such a good disposition. I love that I am able to take her out and most of the time she is really pretty good. At home it's even easier (most of the time!). I am getting to know her different types of cries and looks. I think she is going through a growth spurt. She seems a little more sleepy these past few days and ever time I look at her I feel like she looks bigger!

My sister Amy is getting married this August, so we did some wedding things with her. I love hanging out with her. We can go back and forth with inside jokes and funny memories from growing up and discuss what's new with us now. I wish that we lived closer. I wish I lived closer to everyone for that matter! But what is important is that when we do see each other (which is usually about every other month or so) it is fun and special. We all talk on the phone often and having things like my blog (if they actually read it!), facebook and sharing photos online really helps out. I know that I am blessed to have such a wonderful family. My parents recently celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. That is not an easy feat, especially nowadays. I always knew that they were good parents, but now that I am an adult and a parent myself I have a new appriecation and wonder about them.:) I pray that Jacob and I will have a long and happy life together like my parents have had. I love looking back on our crazy days as a big, growing family.

Before I was a mom

I got this as a text fwd, but I really liked it. So here it is...
Before I was a Mom…
I never learned the words to a lullaby. I never thought about immunizations. I had never been puked on, pooped on, drooled on, chewed on or peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple little grin. I never sat up for hours watching a baby sleep. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a mom. Before I was a mom..I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body.

School

AAHH! Boy, it's good to be home in the quiet! I went to volunteer at the school that I used to work at. There were kids literally running around the room. I feel so bad for the kids that actually want to learn. Because of the actions of about 5 students, 22 others can't get the right classroom environment to learn. On top of that it is just loud and chaotic. I was doing so well with limiting my snacking and watching what I was eating, but as soon as I got there I was scarfing down jelly beans as fast as I could! I want to make it clear that the room is like this not because of the lack of trying or a quality teacher in the room. I love the girl that is in there now instead of me. It's just crazy! Even though Isabella is only 3 months, every time I go it makes it 100% clear that I will be homeschooling her! Being there also gave me a new respect for moms who work outside the home and then come home and give their attention, patience and love to their kids. I'm thankful that Bella is sleeping now so I have a minute to decompress after just a few hours! I would feel terrible if I took out my frustration or stress on my child.
Teaching is a weird profession. Anybody can come in and criticize you and your classroom. At most other jobs, "outsiders" don't come in and tell you how to do your job. When I went to college, I had a completely different idea about how teaching would be. I think it's because of the great elementary school memories I have. I have always wanted to be a teacher. I like to be around children and especially helping anyone. When I started teaching last year, it was the hardest year. I was learning everyday way more than I ever did in college. If and when I ever go back to teaching, I would like to be at a small, Christian school. Not that those schools are perfect either, but I feel like it's a start in the right direction.

a fresh start

I love the mornings. I go in to get Isabella from her crib. She usually greets me with the biggest grin ever. It is the best feeling ever. Sometimes she is still sleeping, though. Looking at her is like falling in love every morning- pure joy! I heard yesterday while watching Oprah, something like motherhood is the greatest job because every day is a new day and you can do it over again. You can't screw up too bad! You can try again tomorrow. That's nice to know. No matter how bad the day was yesterday, it's a fresh start today. It's like that with knowing God, too. Everyday we get a fresh start. Jesus has taken away our sins and mistakes and makes us white as snow. With Easter coming this weekend, that fact is more on my mind. To understand the enormity of Jesus dying on the cross for ME just boggles my mind. God turned into man died a horrible death for little old me! I feel like He died for me, the very least I can do is live for Him.

At Home...

So I thought I would create a blog about my life; which pretty much means it's mostly about Isabella! For those that don't know, Isabella Grace is our beautiful daughter born on Jan. 2. She's 3 months now; and I must admit much more fun than her newborn self. I hear that it only gets better!

For some reason, she is usually fussier on Mondays. By six o'clock I'm definately ready for my husband to come home for a little relief and assistance before I go crazy. So that's where we are now; Every time I was ready to write, she would start crying.-writing just this much has taken me 3 tries! And my husband wonders why I watch tv all day! It's hard to start anything worthwhile with the little one needing my attention. I am blessed that I am able to give her my all. I was an elementary teacher before becoming a stay at home mom. This really is a full time job! I finally have a few minutes to sit and think and just let whatever come out my brain!

Today was a pretty good day till about 4:30 when she started to cry till 6. Before that, one of my friends, Rebekah, came over to visit for a bit. We have been close friends since we were 18 (I'm 27 now). It's wierd to think of all the life changes that we have gone through together. Through crappy boyfriends, college (we were roomies), living in different states for a short time, many shopping trips, apartments, marriage for both of us and a baby now for me. I am so thankful to God that He has placed such a great woman in my life! I think that it is vital for stay at home moms to find a few other close friends that they can connect with. I am very blessed that I have a lot of friends that happened to all get pregnant around the same time as me. Having that connection and understanding is so helpful. I also have 2 other close friends that understand me but don't have babies yet! My husband is wonderful, but sometimes I don't think he fully gets it. Being a mom is so much more involved, at least in the first year, with nursing and all. There is just a connection ( literal and emotional) that mother and child have. Ok, well speaking of nursing- it's bedtime for miss Isabella!