An awakening

Note:  I wrote this 2 days ago. But since it's pretty personal I decided to wait a day or two. I decided to post it still, because I'm sure that I'm not the only one in this boat. I hope that it can help shed some light on our prejudicial ways and change us to be more Christ-like. I know it is definitely a work in progress. Some days are better than others.

I had a very convicting day today at Bible study while listening to Beth Moore lecture on James 2. I had a couple of moments where I had to tell myself, "listen! This is you and what you need to be in prayer about!" First one was, it doesn't matter how many Bible studies I go to. I need to be changing every time. Every day I need to be in the Word! It's good to get my "homework" done for the study, but if it's not reaching my heart and I'm not changing my outward attitude; what good is filling in every little blank?! It's fun to see the ladies and have some brunch and 2 hours of babysitting but again, if the Word is not changing me, what good is it? James 1:22-24 says But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. ²³ For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. ²⁴ For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 
This is in essence what I do at times. I sometimes find myself playing the "Christianity game." I go to Church and Bible study, but I am not letting everything in and really thinking about it and changing. Now, before you think that I go to all these things and never hear a thing- that is of course untrue. I know that Jesus Christ is my savior and in my weakness I can go to Him. He can change my (and your) heart, I just have to ask and be willing. I have to have a open mind and open heart. I have to listen and not talk. Which brings me to another great point in James1:19. Be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to anger. I don't know where I heard this saying but it is very applicable for this verse. "We have one mouth and 2 ears. So that means you need to listen twice as much as you are talking." If you read my post yesterday, you know that I was having an issue with the "slow to anger" part. ( But then again, my daughter was having trouble with the slow to speak part. What 3 yr old doesn't?!)
The next part of the video really got to me as well. She ( and James) talked about favoritism.James 2:1-7 says ¹ My brothers,show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. ² For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, ³ and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” ⁴ have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? ⁵ Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? ⁶ But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? ⁷ Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called? How many times do I do this? Not in my tangible actions but in my mind. I am constantly judging people in my head. I am deciding who I want to talk to and who I don't. How people should act, look, and say things. With the social media in our face all time we can build up or tear down so many people with a quick couple of keystrokes. This seems to be a big issue with middle and high schoolers. Cyber bullying is so easy. You just say some mean things you would never say to a person to their face. You control their emotions. It is additive even for using it for good. I like to kill a few minutes browsing on facebook and pinterest. I really should be "browsing" the Bible for those minutes. So I have decided to go on a facebook and pinterest fast for a week. Let's see how my heart can change when I'm not constantly bombarded with images and more importantly not wasting my time when I know that I need to be much more intentional about reading and meeting with the Lord. That was one of my new year's resolutions and here it is the end of January and I have failed miserably at that one already.
I have a weakness to hear about what the latest celebrity news is. I joke around and say "anything that is trivial knowledge, I know all about it. Jacob is the scholar in this relationship." But it doesn't have to be that way. I need to turn my eyes away from that. Those celebrities that I read about usually hate God, and the things about Him and his laws. When I am choosing to look at them instead of what God says, I am showing favoritism to those who go against God! I never really connected the dots from that passage. I have been slowly pulling away from that for the last few months. Jacob has pointed out how silly it is to care about those entertainment news types of shows. I know deep down that it really is. It has no bearing on my day. It's just a break from reality I guess. Now I can say (happily) that I have been watching much less tv in general and finding more time in my day. At this point, I seem to still have the trouble sitting to read. So that is still something that I have to make myself do. Once I finally settle myself, I do enjoy reading- it's just hard to calm the endless list of to-do's down in my head to focus. Having 2 little ones who need lots of play time, baths and dinner also helps with pulling me away to do a more noble calling.

Thank you Jesus that you can change our hearts. Turn us towards you and away from this hustle and bustle of life (and non-sense) in the 21st century. Help me to focus on you, your word and how I can show your love to everyone I see. Amen