Don't worry, Be happy (at least that's what I'm trying to do)

So I can't sleep. I'm doing the opposite of helping this cause by being on the computer! I feel like I need a little outlet though. So remember how in my last post I said that this tight budget was kinda fun? Well, I have changed my mind! I'm awake now worrying. Not about anything particular. Jacob read Matthew 6:26 to me. I know that we will have clothes and food to eat. I know that Jesus will provide. I don't know exactly what it is. But I don't like this feeling in my stomach and the fact that I can't sleep! I think I'm worried about upcoming other random expenses-like gifts and such. I love to give gifts to the people I love. It's going to be a little harder this year. I'm trying to think now of all the crafty, creative things that I can do. I have heard the Bible stories about giving up things to show your commitment and passion to God. I always thought, "yeah, that's nice. That's the right thing to do." Now I feel it much more. It's a bit uncomfortable, but I think I am growing in Christ through this experience. Plus I should probably get used to it! When we go to seminary things will probably be like this too.

I guess I never realized how easy I had it before. It's not like money was no object. I still would pay attention to prices and think if I should really buy it. I think I'm just wired that way . Even when we registered for gifts for our wedding. I still looked at prices, even though I wasn't buying it, and usually picked the cheaper thing. The other day I went to the mall to wander and window shop. I thought this was a great idea to get out of the house for free. It was okay while I was there. Then that night I had a major jealously fit. I was going in every direction, comparing me to others, wondering why I couldn't just go and buy some fun things sometime, how things just don't seem "fair", how it's hard to be at home all day with Isabella (even though I know it is a huge blessing and love being home with her).. all sorts of things. Jacob was so understanding and caring about all this. We take turns being the "sane" one!;) ha ha.. I tell him when he's being crazy too. But usually for much different reasons than my crazy is! I go in waves with these sort of feelings. I think it's a girl thing. I know that God is leading us. I'm sure of that. I know that I'm truly and richly blessed (even in material goods, but I don't feel like it now!) Now is when the rubber meets the road as they say...I have to trust that God will not fail us and will provide abundantly.