The Weekend Update

This past weekend, I was able to have some time to scrapbook . It was relaxing to be able to have some "me time." My stuff is actually still sitting out on the kitchen table. I am always torn when this happens. I feel like if I put it away I will not make time and forget to finish the pages that I started. But I also feel like I have a mess in the mean time and I need to find time to finish it. Seeing it out is somehow suppose to inspire me to finish. I also found a new photo site online. I made a digital photo scrapbook as well. Hopefully it will turn out. Then I will have found myself a little bargain place! Every time I look through old pictures I am amazed with how little a newborn is and subsequently how big Bella is now! It appears that she is tall for her age. She is almost as tall as her boy friends in playgroup who are almost two.
I'm getting the itch for another baby! It seems to be "going around now"- the second wave of pregnant friends. When I found out that I was pregnant with Isabella, it was such a blessing to go through it with other friends. I was at the end of the "baby wave" but it was still encouraging to know that I wasn't alone in the feelings/pains/questions I was experiencing. Now it's nice to be able to have them growing up and play together.

Jacob and I had some serious discussions about seminary and finances over the weekend as well. I am nervous and really trying to trust God. He is the one that is prompting us to change our life for His mission. I like to have things planned out, but right now I have to just know that God has it planned better than we could ever do it. Lots of things are in the air though..questions about what type of jobs we will get, when we'll work, new friends, places to go (places for me to get lost trying to find!), housing, finding a new church, juggling 2 jobs and Bella (and maybe another baby soon?!) It's a lot to think about... It's a lot to PRAY about!

On a separate note: My previous post I mentioned adoption. Well, last week I got my bubble burst a little. Aparently, there are some really strict rules about adopting Haitian children.; like you need to be married for 10 years and have no other children! Well, we're out for both! I should have known that it couldn't be so simple. I think in a naive way. There are lots of kids who don't have parents and need love, attention and support. We could be that for some child somewhere. Oh, well.. God willing, maybe we'll adopt one day.

That's all the random thoughts for now! How was your weekend? Was is relaxing like mine was or stressful and busy? Leave a comment! I'm trying to get more "interactive" and see who actually reads my little blog as well as get to know your thought on things as well.

Random thoughts

Well I'm certainly not bored anymore! I have been going all day today and yesterday. I am in the middle of about four different projects. I'm trying to finish curtains for Bella's room, finish laundry, cook dinner and clean out the closet! All this while Isabella is getting a painful tooth up on top. So I've had to take some breaks just to cuddle. When this tooth comes in, I think she'll look like a Jack O'lantern;) Speaking of Jack O'lanterns and halloween, that has been an on going debate for Jacob and I the last few days. I'm for halloween in moderation- no scary things! Jacob doesn't see the point of celebrating a 'non-holiday'. We have been making some thoughtful decisions about how our family will celebrate upcoming holidays. We have found many Christ centered ideas to make part of our traditions. Maybe around Christmas time I'll tell you more about them, and how they are going. Actually I probably won't know tell Isabella is like 6 and we see if she is excited about doing these traditions..What are your thoughts about halloween and how to celebrate holidays in a Christian focused way?

Now it is Thursday- I was too busy on Tuesday to even finish this post! The weather this whole week has been absolutely perfect! Sunny but not too hot. Bella was a disaster this morning. Screaming and bumping her head in to everything! I was trying to get ready. I thought it would take me about 10 min. I should have known by now that everything takes longer. At one point Isabella was eating tissues out of the garbage! Lovely! I thought I was being good by bringing her in the bathroom with me while I put on my 3 min. worth of makeup. I almost gave up on going out at all. After we got there (she fell asleep on the way) then she was in a great mood. So I finally got to playgroup, it was at a nice park. Bella was walking around holding a short bench and had fun in the swing. Now she's sleeping again. I'm trying to be productive while she is napping. So far I got the prep work for dinner done and I'm in the middle of making some baby food. Tomorrow we are going out of town for a bridal shower that I am throwing for a good friend. I'm looking forward to that and most importantly seeing parts of my family!

This has been a fast week. Very busy and productive. I love it! But it also makes me sleepy! Speaking of sleeping.. this is kinda weird- last night I found 4 straight pins in my bed! Thankfully I didn't get stabbed with any of them. How did they get under the covers?! I cleaned out my sewing box on Tuesday when I was finishing the closet. But that was on top of the covers. Oh yeah, when I cleaned out my closet I made a box of stuff to try and sell. So far I've made $15. Doesn't sound like much, but I'm pretty excited. Little things like that, I see God in. We normally budget just enough for gas for Jacob to go to work and me once a month for errands. Since we are going out of town that $15 will get us half a tank of gas. That's what we need to get there. I think I might put a couple other things on craigslist and see what happens. Ok, I think that's enough random rambling for now.

Don't worry, Be happy (at least that's what I'm trying to do)

So I can't sleep. I'm doing the opposite of helping this cause by being on the computer! I feel like I need a little outlet though. So remember how in my last post I said that this tight budget was kinda fun? Well, I have changed my mind! I'm awake now worrying. Not about anything particular. Jacob read Matthew 6:26 to me. I know that we will have clothes and food to eat. I know that Jesus will provide. I don't know exactly what it is. But I don't like this feeling in my stomach and the fact that I can't sleep! I think I'm worried about upcoming other random expenses-like gifts and such. I love to give gifts to the people I love. It's going to be a little harder this year. I'm trying to think now of all the crafty, creative things that I can do. I have heard the Bible stories about giving up things to show your commitment and passion to God. I always thought, "yeah, that's nice. That's the right thing to do." Now I feel it much more. It's a bit uncomfortable, but I think I am growing in Christ through this experience. Plus I should probably get used to it! When we go to seminary things will probably be like this too.

I guess I never realized how easy I had it before. It's not like money was no object. I still would pay attention to prices and think if I should really buy it. I think I'm just wired that way . Even when we registered for gifts for our wedding. I still looked at prices, even though I wasn't buying it, and usually picked the cheaper thing. The other day I went to the mall to wander and window shop. I thought this was a great idea to get out of the house for free. It was okay while I was there. Then that night I had a major jealously fit. I was going in every direction, comparing me to others, wondering why I couldn't just go and buy some fun things sometime, how things just don't seem "fair", how it's hard to be at home all day with Isabella (even though I know it is a huge blessing and love being home with her).. all sorts of things. Jacob was so understanding and caring about all this. We take turns being the "sane" one!;) ha ha.. I tell him when he's being crazy too. But usually for much different reasons than my crazy is! I go in waves with these sort of feelings. I think it's a girl thing. I know that God is leading us. I'm sure of that. I know that I'm truly and richly blessed (even in material goods, but I don't feel like it now!) Now is when the rubber meets the road as they say...I have to trust that God will not fail us and will provide abundantly.

the frugal life is a good life

Well now that our path is decidedly pointed towards Louisville,KY/seminary in a year, we have tightened our budget. I thought that we were pretty frugal before.. Well we are have gotten even better. I have to say it's kinda fun. I feel so great when I get a deal. It's like a little game to me. I found this website-www.kraftfoods.com and there is part of the site that has a menu/grocery planner on it. I love it. I feel organized and it's one less thing to think about during my surprisingly busy days. I have dinner all planned out for the whole week. I only spent $45 for everything this week:) I started shopping at Aldi. They have some pretty good and cheap food. The downfall is they don't everything that a larger supermarket has. Actually now that I think of it, it might be a good thing. That's how I can stay focused and get the things I actually need. My parents shop there. When I was younger I used to be embarassed bringing my lunches with non name brand things in it. Now I'm all about it! The food tastes just as good, so there's no problem here. We are also eating out a lot less. When we made up our new budget, I thought this would be hard to give up eating out one or two times every weekend. It's not so bad though. We can still go out sometimes, just not every week.

Garage sales, Goodwill and Craigslist-these are a few of my favorite things! I have found most of Isabella's things through one of these places. My thinking is as long as Bella is happy and safe, then a (clean) second hand thing is just as good. Actually I think it's usually better because it's like a third of the price as it is new! Especially when they are babies and don't know what they have nor do they care. It's amazing how fast she is growing. I can hardly fit in time for her to wear all of the cute new outfits (that we got as gifts) before she grows out of them! I was looking at all of her toys out today. I think I spent a total of $15 or $20 and she can more toys than she knows what to do with. You know kids, they're usually happy with the odd things like a piece of paper or a bucket and a spoon!

Have you ever seen that show on TLC, 18 kids and counting? Some of the things they do as a family is amazing. I love the way they are debt free. They regularly shop at thrift stores. They make things like laundry detergent, all their meals and even their own home! Last but not least (or related to being thrifty!) all of their children obey and show respect!

I think of my mom, she says "I was 'green' before it was cool to be." It's very true. When we were little, we used to think that our mom was just plain cheap. But now I see the wisdom in her ways. If there is something dry in a ziplock bag, rinse out the crumbs and use it again. If you out grow or don't need some clothes or household item, don't throw it away- give it away. In short recycle and reuse as much as possible. Not only is it helping your wallet and the earth, it's showing good stewardship. That's what God would want from from us, to be responsible for the wonderful gifts He has given us!

Catching up

Wow, it's been a while since I've had time to sit down and write. I feel like I've been busy, yet I don't have a lot to say (hence why I haven't written much in a while!). Today was a day of frustrating moments. I am going to vent now- I went to get my bridesmaid dress hemmed. It's going to be $82!! I don't know if that's a lot for alterations, but I feel like it is. Even if that's a decent price, $82 is still a lot to pay out of pocket for a one time wearing, not to mention buying the dress to begin with! Why can't girls rent dresses for weddings?! Or have a long, short or average height dress, then you pick which is closer to your size? I hate when I can't shop around (or do it myself) for a better price.

Let's see what else is new? Jacob is still seriously looking into seminaries. We might even go before the 2 years is up. He figures if God is calling him to the ministry, then we should go as soon as possible. It's exciting and a little scary to think about. But most things in life that turn out great usually are.

I am getting the apt. back to normal. It always takes a few days to get organized and clean after being away. I'm about 3/4 done. I think I scared Jacob last night because I got a burst of energy at night and wanted to get everything done. It was annoying me all day, but I have to stop at a moments notice to take care of Bella when she's crying.. I get stresed when stuff is everywhere. I can handle some mess here and there, but this was out of control!

I have stopped watching TV for the most part. I watch an hour here and there, but all the sudden it was change in me. I just couldn't stand any of the shows! I have been busy ever since. I have a stack of books and magazines I got at the library that I longingly look at every day. I did watch a bit of Michael Jackson's funeral. I think that he was a great entertainer, but I think they are going a little over board with making him out like a saint. Giving money to charities and being a good dad is great. I think it's what he was called to do with the amount of money that he had. I'm glad that he was able to find joy in his children.

To seminary we go?

Over one of our trips in the car, Jacob and I got to have some nice, quiet, uninterrupted time to talk. I told him that I feel like God has worked on my heart and I feel more comfortable with going where God wants us to go. Last year Jacob had expressed some interest in looking into seminary. At that time I was still pregnant and working. We didn't know what to expect with a baby.We are nowhere near expert parents but I feel more comfortable with Isabella and with myself in general. I feel like if God wants us to move in a couple years to do His work, then we should be open to it. Jacob has the heart, desire and drive to study and work hard. I have seen him work hard this year studying on his own. I still would like to be somewhat near my family but in the end I know that we will make whatever we do work. Our direction now is to pay our debt off and save a little. My dream of a settled down house will be on hold for a while. Good thing God has already worked on that in me a few weeks ago! So we still have a few years and not a clear or definite view of what we will do -but when do we?!

Breastfeeding

Today I was at Babies r us finding a few things for our growing girl. I saw a lady walking around nursing her baby. She had a nursing cover over her, but still I thought it was really cool that she could just walk around like that. I don't think I could do that. First of all, I don't think I'm coordinated enough. Second, Bella is a little too big for carrying her like that. Seeing that made me wish that mothers could breastfeed in public more often and not feel like an outcast. I'm not saying we should just have our breast hanging out for all to see; but it would be nice if there were more areas where we could feel comfortable feeding our child. That's what our breasts were created for anyway!

Why don't public restrooms have chairs? After all, they have changing stations to help out mothers. I have had to sit on the restroom floor to feed Isabella before. I don't seem to think it's as gross as many people do. I do sit on a blanket and I wash my hands afterwards. I just feel more comfortable sitting alone to feed her.

Even odder than breastfeeding is how people don't flinch now seeing a half naked girl on every magazine cover at the grocery store! It just shows how sex obsessed our society is. It's very annoying to me! Almost every TV show and commercial has something in it that hints at sex, if it's not just going on and on about it. Why can't their be any normal family shows on anymore? With shows like the Cosby Show, Gilmore Girls, and (as cheesy as it was) Full House, you could just relax and enjoy watching TV with your family - kids included! I don't even want to think about how much more downhill TV and society in general is going to go by the time that Isabella is a teenager. EEK! Don't get me wrong, I don't want to come across pessimistic about everything. I know that their are "good" kids and parents out there. Sometimes it just gets a little hard to find among the bad news you see on TV. I hope and pray that with God's help that we can raise her and subsequent children in the Lord. That they will know what's good and right.

The Un-devotional

So we had a pretty good day. The weather was beautiful. I managed to sit outside for a few minutes and read while Bella was napping. The only problem was after a few minutes of reading in the quiet I wanted to take a nap too! I started to read the Bible from cover to cover. I have tried different reading plans and quickly failed. I don't get to read everyday, but it's coming along. I have 5 more chapters to finish and then I'll be all done with the book of Genesis. After that, it might get a little tricker with some of the following books! Reading through in order should help me see the cohesiveness of the Bible and all the random stories I know that are in there. Then I can see the big picture that God has drawn out for us. Once I told Jacob that I felt kinda bad because I can never stick to a daily devotional plan. He said "doing devotionals is not just a little thing you read and you're done. It's growing in Christ in all sorts of ways. It's living in Him." I thought this was so well put. So, now I don't stress out about it too much. I try to read the Bible, but mostly I try to live how Christ would want me to live. I have all these little ideas of things that I would like to do sometimes (scrapbooking,reading, cooking, cleaning, going on a date with my husband) but I can't fully devote myself to much of anything right now. But I'm actually okay with that. This time is precious and goes by too quick. So, I'm just enjoying the ride.

Our amazing bodies

Ah! It feels good to be out of those tight jeans and into my jammies! Two weeks ago, I was pretty excited that I could fit back into those jeans. They were the last hold out of the pre pregnancy clothes that didn’t fit. Now they fit! Yay! But still a little tight…but on! Today I was watching Oprah, yes I know.. Oprah. Jacob doesn’t like that I watch it, but I don’t think it’s so bad. When she has weird guests or shows that conflict with my beliefs I don’t watch. Anyways, Kirstie Alley was on and she gained back all the weight that publicly lost. Weight is a difficult thing. I feel like most people are never happy with what they weigh. The media definitely doesn’t help. It’s either they are anorexic or too chubby. This of course is still when these celebrities are still underweight and would still look pretty darn skinny if they were walking around any normal town.

I have tried to make fitness a way of life for me. It’s not like I’m a gym rat by any stretch of the imagination. But I do feel better after I have a good work out. I usually try to get 30-45 min. in most days. Thankfully, Bella just likes to watch meJ I try to think about all the things that my body can do to make me feel better when I’m down about my body. Especially going through pregnancy, I feel like my body is amazing. God made our bodies amazing! I really didn’t have to do too much and inside was this perfect little being. Even 4 months later, it’s still amazing to me.

Ok, this just in-My friend, Kimberly, was having surgery. She just said that the drs. went in to remove cysts and they were completely gone! This normally wouldn't just happen. She and many other people were praying about this situtation. God took them away. What a miracle! He is using her body to show His glory!

Random thoughts

Well, Jacob had to give me a little tutorial on blogging. Still feeling my way around this "new world". I'm old school- I usually like writing with an old pen and paper. I'm hoping that I can share about our life as an encouragement to others and well as just journaling my thoughts as an outlet while I'm at home in the semi-quiet days. I found a few other christian mom blogs. I feel that reading something light like a blog posting is manageable! I always have dreams of reading all these different books and it never happens. Mostly because I think I like to pretend that I read more than I really do! Also because my mind wonders, and did I mention a cute little one who keeps me unfocused as well?! I still do want to grow in the spirit, so finding other christian moms is encouraging. At times you can feel very alone. Especially on bad days! This past weekend, she had a couple of those days.. She was a screamer and crying a lot:( It makes my heart just break for her when I know that she is in pain. It's amazing how much pain gas can cause!!
When I'm at home I tend to daydream. Lately, I have been looking and dreaming about houses. I have to tell myself that there is no "magic bullet". You have to be happy where you are and with what you have. I know that I have many blessings. But I get caught up the the material world. That is one of my flaws and I try to rein it in when I notice that I am getting too materialistic. Sometimes Jacob and I are so similar, other times (most of the time) we are quite different. I think that God knew that and that's why we are together. He can be rational and tell me to wait. He will tell me when I'm being crazy. I know that God will lead us to the right house at the right time. Honestly, the apt. that we live in right now isn't that bad. I am feeling a little crowded and want a change of scenery! But who doesn't? I have to confess that there is one townhouse that I can't get out of mind, so I think I'll look at that one. It looks too good to be true. That will be it, though! Then I should probably just stay away from craigslist for a while. So, we'll see...Just be patient, right?!

School

AAHH! Boy, it's good to be home in the quiet! I went to volunteer at the school that I used to work at. There were kids literally running around the room. I feel so bad for the kids that actually want to learn. Because of the actions of about 5 students, 22 others can't get the right classroom environment to learn. On top of that it is just loud and chaotic. I was doing so well with limiting my snacking and watching what I was eating, but as soon as I got there I was scarfing down jelly beans as fast as I could! I want to make it clear that the room is like this not because of the lack of trying or a quality teacher in the room. I love the girl that is in there now instead of me. It's just crazy! Even though Isabella is only 3 months, every time I go it makes it 100% clear that I will be homeschooling her! Being there also gave me a new respect for moms who work outside the home and then come home and give their attention, patience and love to their kids. I'm thankful that Bella is sleeping now so I have a minute to decompress after just a few hours! I would feel terrible if I took out my frustration or stress on my child.
Teaching is a weird profession. Anybody can come in and criticize you and your classroom. At most other jobs, "outsiders" don't come in and tell you how to do your job. When I went to college, I had a completely different idea about how teaching would be. I think it's because of the great elementary school memories I have. I have always wanted to be a teacher. I like to be around children and especially helping anyone. When I started teaching last year, it was the hardest year. I was learning everyday way more than I ever did in college. If and when I ever go back to teaching, I would like to be at a small, Christian school. Not that those schools are perfect either, but I feel like it's a start in the right direction.

a fresh start

I love the mornings. I go in to get Isabella from her crib. She usually greets me with the biggest grin ever. It is the best feeling ever. Sometimes she is still sleeping, though. Looking at her is like falling in love every morning- pure joy! I heard yesterday while watching Oprah, something like motherhood is the greatest job because every day is a new day and you can do it over again. You can't screw up too bad! You can try again tomorrow. That's nice to know. No matter how bad the day was yesterday, it's a fresh start today. It's like that with knowing God, too. Everyday we get a fresh start. Jesus has taken away our sins and mistakes and makes us white as snow. With Easter coming this weekend, that fact is more on my mind. To understand the enormity of Jesus dying on the cross for ME just boggles my mind. God turned into man died a horrible death for little old me! I feel like He died for me, the very least I can do is live for Him.

At Home...

So I thought I would create a blog about my life; which pretty much means it's mostly about Isabella! For those that don't know, Isabella Grace is our beautiful daughter born on Jan. 2. She's 3 months now; and I must admit much more fun than her newborn self. I hear that it only gets better!

For some reason, she is usually fussier on Mondays. By six o'clock I'm definately ready for my husband to come home for a little relief and assistance before I go crazy. So that's where we are now; Every time I was ready to write, she would start crying.-writing just this much has taken me 3 tries! And my husband wonders why I watch tv all day! It's hard to start anything worthwhile with the little one needing my attention. I am blessed that I am able to give her my all. I was an elementary teacher before becoming a stay at home mom. This really is a full time job! I finally have a few minutes to sit and think and just let whatever come out my brain!

Today was a pretty good day till about 4:30 when she started to cry till 6. Before that, one of my friends, Rebekah, came over to visit for a bit. We have been close friends since we were 18 (I'm 27 now). It's wierd to think of all the life changes that we have gone through together. Through crappy boyfriends, college (we were roomies), living in different states for a short time, many shopping trips, apartments, marriage for both of us and a baby now for me. I am so thankful to God that He has placed such a great woman in my life! I think that it is vital for stay at home moms to find a few other close friends that they can connect with. I am very blessed that I have a lot of friends that happened to all get pregnant around the same time as me. Having that connection and understanding is so helpful. I also have 2 other close friends that understand me but don't have babies yet! My husband is wonderful, but sometimes I don't think he fully gets it. Being a mom is so much more involved, at least in the first year, with nursing and all. There is just a connection ( literal and emotional) that mother and child have. Ok, well speaking of nursing- it's bedtime for miss Isabella!